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RUMAFRICA FASHION

HOW TO TELL YOUR ENEMY YOU LIKE HIM

                               
                                         MC and Gospel Singer - Fredy Msungu from Tanzania

Fallen in love with a guy you thought you hated? It happens; it's the old switcheroo thing that happens to prisoners in captivity who fall for their captors. Enemies, especially good-looking ones, can carry a sense of power and vulnerability that is sometimes a very potent mix. Here is what to do.

Steps



1. Be circumspect.
That means, don't be obvious at first because it will look odd. Start smiling a little more in place of scowling at him all the time. Occasionally acknowledge that he has a point but not every time and only concede some of the way.


2. Take it slowly.
This guy is not going anywhere. And believe it or not, the fact you hate him is in some weird way an attractant in itself because he is probably desirous of conquering the enmity to prove a point. But if you leap at the guy, he might just interpret this as more games and power play, so you will need to be slow in coming forward.


3. Leave calling cards now and then.
A short phone message to demand something, ended with a "see ya" is a nice thing. Or leave a sticky note with a demand but end it with a smiley. There are many ways to "soften the blows" that slowly let him know that you are warming to him.



4. Suggest a meeting one day.
Tell him you need to discuss something important. Make sure you do have something important to discuss, because this something important must not be the two of you - not yet. Find something like his tutoring skills in a subject, his knowledge of sport for a school paper interview, or anything that you can use to make it seem you are begrudgingly needing his help or information.



5. Be serious, slightly distracted and make sure a friend calls your cell phone during the meeting - at least twice - to show how important you are elsewhere.
Answer those calls. In front of him. Make gestures and irritated sounds about having to deal with other people's issues but sound cool at the same time, like you know how to handle it all. If appropriate, drop a line "speak of the devil, I'm with him right now. I'll ask." But, of course, you need something sensible to ask him with that throwaway line; usually it helps to have a friend who knows the guy in question do this. Continue the "date" in this fashion until the end. End it with something like "you know, you're kind all right. I didn't expect you to be so understanding but you are really with it."



6. Think it over.
Did he show signs of being interested in you? This is important because if he didn't, then there is no point taking this any further or you will look a right nerd. If he did, then it is time to ratchet this plan up a notch.


7. Be nicer after this.
Let him borrow something from you, or suggest that he is welcome to call you if he needs more information about the "important matter". Smile more at him than you have ever done before. Maybe a wink, or blow a small kiss if it feels right. Keep it simmering slowly. Tell him that the two of you will need to catch up again at some point to talk things through some more.



8. Corner him later.
When he is alone and not with anybody, about one week later, it is time to make the move. Tell him that you just had to speak to him again, that he has been on your mind more than is healthy for someone you thought you didn't want to be around and that maybe, maybe, this is bigger than some foolish enmity between the two of you. And then say something like, "I guess what I am trying to say is... that I think I actually like you." Be coy and be refined. Back off at this point and just smile. You don't want to come on too strong at this point. Wait for his response and see how it goes from there. Remember, keep cool, aloof and ready to drop it if he dislikes what you are suggesting. Shrug and say "no biggie" if he repels you and add something like "well, you fell for that big time - wait till I tell the girls this one!" That way you can save face. But if he agrees, well, we think you know where to take it from there.

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